The World According to Jemma

1. When I bring you my boots and coat, it's time to go outside and play. Preferably within 30 seconds.

2. Dinner is at 5:00 sharp. To remind you, I'll begin crying, clinging to your legs, and climbing you in the kitchen at 4:30. Do not try to buy me off with Cheerios. I want actual food.

3. Snack times, as well, are to be strictly observed. I will let you know when those times are by pounding on the snack cabinet, yelling, "Nack nack," and nodding my head vigorously.

4. All birds are ducks. They say, "Duck, duck."

5. All dogs are hilarious, exciting, and must be touched.

6. Music is good. Please join me in clapping after every song.

7. My main job during the day is called Redistributing Things Around The House. Please don't interfere with this; if you try to put things back (underwear from the laundry hamper, high-heel shoes, toys, books), I will just get them out again right away.

8. I love to cuddle. Please be prepared to stop whatever you are doing during the day to give me a hug. Also, I need a hug from you when you get home. And before bed. And after each meal. And . . .