More Tuesday Library Adventures

It being Tuesday, of course we spent the morning at the library, exchanging our last round of books for a new bunch. As usual, there was a little table set up with an art project and the girls spent some time there. We were sitting around this table, coloring with crayons and colored pencils, when Annie started to tell me about her drawing.

"It's a boy," she begins.

"Mmmm-hmmm," I say, and try to keep Jemma from putting the crayons in her mouth.

"It's a boy, but with crazy hair, because he's mad. But he still has a penis."

I try to be low-key. This is a word she knows and we are attempting to treat it like all the other billions of words she knows - matter-of-factly, routinely, casually.

"Yep," I respond.

She gets a little louder, glancing at me to see if this topic is still OK. "He's a boy, so he has a penis," she repeats.

"Yep, okay," I say normally, but I start looking around, trying to assess how many other moms and kids are paying attention to this conversation.

"We'll have to show Daddy my picture when he gets home, because he'll know it's a boy because he has a penis, too." I secretly start praying that we don't have to begin discussing any specific penises here in the library, because, while we reached the age a few months ago where we ended any opposite-sex family nudity, the last time Annie had anything to say about Jason's penis, it was: "Daddy, I don't like your penis."

Thankfully, I get her on another track, and we eventually wrap up the library visit. We're riding back up in the elevator, and I ask Annie to push the UL button (for upper level) so I can get my coat on and because she usually LOVES to push the buttons. But she refuses, and while I'm negotiating with her to do it, Jemma sprints over and pushes the lowest, most accessible button, which is the Emergency Call button. I say, "Jemma, NO!" then hear what sounds like a phone on speakerphone begin dialing - the police station, I presume. I frantically press the UL button. Annie starts crying: "Mom! Mom!!!! What's going to happen?" as I try to tell her how we have to go tell someone that we're fine, that there's no emergency.

We finally get out on the upper level and I try to drag everyone over to tell a library employee what's happened, but Annie is flailing around on the floor behind me and asking a billion questions. I give her The Look while apologizing to the library employee, and a lot of people have to come get into the elevator with us to see if, indeed, the fire department is being paged to rush to the library elevator. Thankfully, no. After I apologize a hundred more times, we walk outside toward the car, Annie scolding Jemma ("Jemma! You are NEVER, EVER going to be allowed to ride in the elevator again. Do you understand? Jemma, we don't push that button!") and myself ("Mom, when I was trying to ask you a question, you were giving me a Not Very Nice Look!") the whole way.

And it wasn't even 11:00.