System Overload

Jemma does this thing sometimes (and by sometimes, I mean a few times a day) when she instantly becomes so thirsty that she needs water immediately. "Muh," she suddenly says. "Muh muh muh muh muh muh muh," one syllable per second, at least, as though a wire has been tripped and water is required to reset her. It is usually just when we are toppling back into the house from somewhere, me with my hands full, Annie running to pee, the phone ringing. Today, it started happening when I was in the kitchen, trying to make dinner, on the phone with a friend, and Annie at my heels insisting, "Mom! I saw a cardinal. A cardinal!!! Mom. Moooooom." In the background: "Muh muh muh muh muh." And then my cell phone rang, and the CD on the stereo started skipping, and it is a small miracle that everyone got fed, cleaned, and put to bed before I lost my mind.

I think this is one of the harder things for me about being a stay-at-home parent of small children. I just don't really like noise. In high school and college, I required total silence to study, do homework, read, and write papers. (I am always a little amazed - and suspicious - of people who can learn things with loud music on.) I hardly ever turn on the TV during the day and prefer to listen to music when I can really listen to it, not when it is just one more layer of background noise. Living in such close proximity to neighbors, some of whom own several loud items with which to tend their immaculate lawns, is frustrating to me, even though I know that it's to be expected, living in a city. Noise - especially repetitive, annoying noise - makes it hard for me to THINK, hard to function at the top of my game. I forget things. I lose things. I lose my patience, my train of thought, my motivation.

These days, I try to embrace the messy, noisy world that is raising children. I expect lots of questions, nonsense singing, shout-outs to each and every "digger!" that we pass on the road. At night, before bed, I try to spend some time by myself, either outside running or upstairs writing and reading. It's my way to "reset" myself for another noisy day. And in the meantime, I am trying very, very hard to teach Jemma how to ask for "Water, please."