Today was a much, much better day with Annie. We had Twinkle Toes this morning, which she mostly participated in when not sitting randomly on a bench, playing with a mystery hairbrush or digging casually through a bin of used dance shoes. Then Miss Kelly came and entertained while I went to the gym and Target by myself - a much-needed break. After naps, we dressed up, danced, read books in Jemma's room, and ordered pizza for dinner. But while it's all still fresh in my mind, a few choice quotes from yesterday's meltdowns (and my attempts to turn it all around):
"You're not being NICE to me!" - while at the gym, trying to make her stand up to zip her coat up before heading out into the 7-degree weather.
"I don't mind if you take my Dinah away." - while I told her that her beloved Dinah would be the next to go if she didn't start making better choices.
"Well, I won't be sad about that. I'll just stay home . . . and play . . . and sing . . ." - when I told her that she wouldn't be going to the pool again if she couldn't behave when we were there.
"You can take my books away, too, Mom." - calmly, while I was furiously taking all her favorite stuff out of her room and stashing it upstairs, to be earned back today by good behavior.
"Mom, you need to be patient with me, okay?" - while I was asking her for the second or third time to come to the dinner table.
"You're kind of wearing me out."
Good grief. All I have to say is, usually, before leaving the girls for any extended length of time, I'm all full of angst and guilt and anxiety: they'll need me, and I won't be there; they'll miss me and feel abandoned; no one else can possibly take good enough care of them and/or anticipate every single thing that might happen . . . . etc, etc. The last few days have put a quick stop to that. I need a break, the girls need a break, and I will be leaving on Sunday with the clear conscience of someone who knows that she'll come back a better, happier, more patient mommy for having been away without the kids for a few precious days.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Progressively . . .
Better:
-Our neighbors. Not that they're getting better, per se, but that our times together are more and more fun the longer we live here. I can only imagine the stories we'll have to tell when we've all lived here for 10 or 20 years. (We're all living here that long, right?) Promised pictures attached. (Actually, promised pictures NOT attached. Blogger won't let me! Grrr. Check back later, or else I'll post the link.)
Worse:
-Annie's behavior. The last week or so, she's either been "adorable, hilarious, precocious, interesting, happy" Annie or "100% brat, whiny, defiant, shit" Annie. And today, Annie #2 was in full effect. We were on day 2 of being inside due to weather and day #3 of abrupt no-napping. So from 3:30 on this afternoon, Annie was a trainwreck, unable to stop herself from making every possible worst choice in every situation - at the pool, at dinner, in the tub . . . . this culminated with me in tears and Annie in her bed for the night at 6:45. All her favorite things have been taken away, including her toenail polish and dress-up clothes and dolls, to be earned back on a daily basis when she starts listening again. It was the worst day we've had in a long, long time and makes me realize why parenting is so much harder in the winter than in the summer.
Of course, 20 minutes after she went to bed, I felt terrible about ending the day on such a bad note and I went in to peek at her. She's already asleep, angelic-looking in her bed, with her doop clutched in her hand. I hope hope hope that tomorrow will be a much better day.
-Our neighbors. Not that they're getting better, per se, but that our times together are more and more fun the longer we live here. I can only imagine the stories we'll have to tell when we've all lived here for 10 or 20 years. (We're all living here that long, right?) Promised pictures attached. (Actually, promised pictures NOT attached. Blogger won't let me! Grrr. Check back later, or else I'll post the link.)
Worse:
-Annie's behavior. The last week or so, she's either been "adorable, hilarious, precocious, interesting, happy" Annie or "100% brat, whiny, defiant, shit" Annie. And today, Annie #2 was in full effect. We were on day 2 of being inside due to weather and day #3 of abrupt no-napping. So from 3:30 on this afternoon, Annie was a trainwreck, unable to stop herself from making every possible worst choice in every situation - at the pool, at dinner, in the tub . . . . this culminated with me in tears and Annie in her bed for the night at 6:45. All her favorite things have been taken away, including her toenail polish and dress-up clothes and dolls, to be earned back on a daily basis when she starts listening again. It was the worst day we've had in a long, long time and makes me realize why parenting is so much harder in the winter than in the summer.
Of course, 20 minutes after she went to bed, I felt terrible about ending the day on such a bad note and I went in to peek at her. She's already asleep, angelic-looking in her bed, with her doop clutched in her hand. I hope hope hope that tomorrow will be a much better day.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Just Headin' Down the Street
In minutes, Jason and I are going to walk out our door and head down the street for the Annual Orchard Ave. Progressive Dinner. We're bringing wine. Lots of wine. And later, we'll be next door to finish the night off with dessert. We're not bringing our darling children, and given that they've been screaming (literally) at one another all day, this is a welcome relief. So cheers to a fabulous Saturday night, neighbors, and if you aren't so lucky to be gathering with friends, maybe you should crack open a bottle of something after your kids are in bed and plan a progressive, grown-up outing of your own. I'll post photos of ours later . . .
Thursday, January 24, 2008
New Ventures
A few noteworthy recent achievements in the Doublestein household:
-Jemma is walking! Completely, totally, happily staggering down the hallway and across whole rooms with a big, proud smile on her face. In the span of a couple days she went from reluctantly taking a few steps when we encouraged her to doing it almost all the time, even when nobody is watching. She's so persistent and determined. Of course we're taking lots of video because it's so cute to see her toddling with her hands out in front of her.
-Annie had her first solo playdate yesterday with a friend from school. It was strange not to go pick her up from school at 11:15 and instead have Ella's mommy bring her back at 1:00. Of course, I was worried about how she'd do in an unfamiliar house without me, but she was a champ. The girls, apparently, had fun and did well (this, according to Ella's mommy), but then Annie kept letting little things leak out for the rest of the day:
"Ella threw her piggy bank and it broke so she might get a spanking."
"I said, 'booger' at Ella's house."
"We had a hot dog, string cheese, and an orange. I didn't eat my hot dog."
-I managed to find time last week to write something for a friend's business and actually get paid for it! (Thanks, Di . . .) That's right; I'm going to be filing a W-2 form this year for the first time since 2004. It was great for me to learn a new writing skill (it was copy writing for a business website) and interesting to think about other, broader ways I can ramp up my writing so that, hopefully, it can become more of a "job" and less of a "hobby" in a few years time.
-As for Jason, he's been working his butt off at the office, getting home late at night and being booked out over a month in advance. On top of that, he's been really into cooking lately (nice break for me), making some very yummy potstickers, bean dip, and some sort of french egg thing (not all for the same meal, obviously).
And, outside, the snow continues . . .
-Jemma is walking! Completely, totally, happily staggering down the hallway and across whole rooms with a big, proud smile on her face. In the span of a couple days she went from reluctantly taking a few steps when we encouraged her to doing it almost all the time, even when nobody is watching. She's so persistent and determined. Of course we're taking lots of video because it's so cute to see her toddling with her hands out in front of her.
-Annie had her first solo playdate yesterday with a friend from school. It was strange not to go pick her up from school at 11:15 and instead have Ella's mommy bring her back at 1:00. Of course, I was worried about how she'd do in an unfamiliar house without me, but she was a champ. The girls, apparently, had fun and did well (this, according to Ella's mommy), but then Annie kept letting little things leak out for the rest of the day:
"Ella threw her piggy bank and it broke so she might get a spanking."
"I said, 'booger' at Ella's house."
"We had a hot dog, string cheese, and an orange. I didn't eat my hot dog."
-I managed to find time last week to write something for a friend's business and actually get paid for it! (Thanks, Di . . .) That's right; I'm going to be filing a W-2 form this year for the first time since 2004. It was great for me to learn a new writing skill (it was copy writing for a business website) and interesting to think about other, broader ways I can ramp up my writing so that, hopefully, it can become more of a "job" and less of a "hobby" in a few years time.
-As for Jason, he's been working his butt off at the office, getting home late at night and being booked out over a month in advance. On top of that, he's been really into cooking lately (nice break for me), making some very yummy potstickers, bean dip, and some sort of french egg thing (not all for the same meal, obviously).
And, outside, the snow continues . . .
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sunday School in the Single Digits
Yesterday morning was my turn to help in Annie's Sunday School class. Usually, this involves a lot of stapling, gluing, herding children from classroom to gathering hallway and back, and a variety of frantic tasks with 10-12 three-year-olds. Even though it's nice to be there with Annie, I'd frankly rather be spending a quiet hour in church, possibly getting something out of the service.
So, why rush out of the house on those freezing Sunday mornings to get Annie to Sunday School? I've always thought it had something to do with "setting an example," or, maybe "starting a life-long good habit;" these are reasons my parents always gave me. But they felt a little empty: why do something just to show you should? Why start a habit for no reason? And then I read this passage, written by Anne Lamott (a favorite of mine), and I knew I had to write it down somewhere to remind myself why I'm making the effort. It's from a chapter entitled, "Why I Make Sam Go to Church:"
"The main reason is that I want to give him what I found in the world, which is to say a path and a little light to see by. Most of the people I know who have what I want - which is to say, purpose, heart, balance, gratitude, joy - are people with a deep sense of spirituality. They are people in community, who pray, or practice their faith; they are Buddhists, Jews, Christians - people banding together to work on themselves and for human rights. They follow a brighter light than the glimmer of their own candle; they are part of something beautiful. I saw something once from the Jewish Theological Seminary that said, "A human life is like a single letter of the alphabet. It can be meaningless. Or it can be a part of a great meaning." Our little church is filled with people who are working for peace and freedom, who are out there on the streets and inside praying, and they are home writing letters, and they are at the shelters with their giant platters of food."
Now, for me, this is not 100% true. I have some dear friends who are generous and joyful and purposeful without having darkened the door of a church in months or years. And I could also list off 10 or 20 people who managed to be mean-spirited, tight-fisted, and selfish while attending church faithfully each week. But still, this is the gift I want to pass on to my children - the feeling of belonging someplace safe and of being part of something bigger than themselves that will guide their choices in the years to come. Meaning. Balance. Gratitude. Good goals, I think.
So, why rush out of the house on those freezing Sunday mornings to get Annie to Sunday School? I've always thought it had something to do with "setting an example," or, maybe "starting a life-long good habit;" these are reasons my parents always gave me. But they felt a little empty: why do something just to show you should? Why start a habit for no reason? And then I read this passage, written by Anne Lamott (a favorite of mine), and I knew I had to write it down somewhere to remind myself why I'm making the effort. It's from a chapter entitled, "Why I Make Sam Go to Church:"
"The main reason is that I want to give him what I found in the world, which is to say a path and a little light to see by. Most of the people I know who have what I want - which is to say, purpose, heart, balance, gratitude, joy - are people with a deep sense of spirituality. They are people in community, who pray, or practice their faith; they are Buddhists, Jews, Christians - people banding together to work on themselves and for human rights. They follow a brighter light than the glimmer of their own candle; they are part of something beautiful. I saw something once from the Jewish Theological Seminary that said, "A human life is like a single letter of the alphabet. It can be meaningless. Or it can be a part of a great meaning." Our little church is filled with people who are working for peace and freedom, who are out there on the streets and inside praying, and they are home writing letters, and they are at the shelters with their giant platters of food."
Now, for me, this is not 100% true. I have some dear friends who are generous and joyful and purposeful without having darkened the door of a church in months or years. And I could also list off 10 or 20 people who managed to be mean-spirited, tight-fisted, and selfish while attending church faithfully each week. But still, this is the gift I want to pass on to my children - the feeling of belonging someplace safe and of being part of something bigger than themselves that will guide their choices in the years to come. Meaning. Balance. Gratitude. Good goals, I think.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Winter Happenings
Busy weekend so far; all good. Yesterday I had a glorious couple hours at the salon while my mom watched Annie and Jason took Jemma to the doctor for her one-year checkup. Her stats: 16 lbs, 9 oz (<5th percentile, but at least we're consistently tiny); 28 1/2 inches long (45th %); head size 45th percentile as well. She's taking more steps every day; today I counted about 8 or 9 in a row when she was walking towards me to get her "ma" (milk). Also, she's a climber. Yesterday, I watched her scale a chair and then a table in less than 30 seconds. I can only imagine the places I'll be finding her in the next few months as her mobility increases. I've attached a picture of her in mid-climb . . . .
Also attaching a picture of me sporting my new haircut. It's much shorter, there are many layers, and I still haven't reached a final verdict about whether or not I love it. I loved it when I left the salon, of course, but then I can't ever make it look like that at home. This morning, I was fighting with it for about 15 minutes. We'll see how it evolves; in any case, I have a hairstyle and not just long hunks of hair hanging on each side of my face.
Jason and I fought the blizzard to have a dinner out at Mangiamo last night. It was very cozy there and a nice way to cap off our week of kid-free dinners at night. Next week, we're forging back into the battle and attempting to "do" the family meal thing again. I am gathering my courage, and my patience. I did get Jemma to eat some homemade chicken noodle soup last week and I snuck some prosciutto into her cheese quesadilla today, so she may not be a vegetarian, after all.
Today, I made it to the gym early this morning and rocked out to some VH1 videos while I cranked out 5 1/2 miles in record time, thanks to Britney, Jay-Z and Beyonce, Alicia Keys, and others. Then I headed to Holland for a poetry reading by one of my former professors, Jack Ridl. It was warm, witty, and not-pretentious-at-all, which were just a few of the things I loved about being in his class my senior year. Definitely makes me want to spend some more time devoted to just writing and to reading other people's good writing. Lunch at Butch's with Connie, Gina, and Andrea, a stop at the Peanut Store, and my indulgent day was complete. Thanks, Jason! I felt like an irresponsible college student again for a few hours!
ps - Blogger is being a pain; won't let me post the pictures! I'll try again later . . .
Also attaching a picture of me sporting my new haircut. It's much shorter, there are many layers, and I still haven't reached a final verdict about whether or not I love it. I loved it when I left the salon, of course, but then I can't ever make it look like that at home. This morning, I was fighting with it for about 15 minutes. We'll see how it evolves; in any case, I have a hairstyle and not just long hunks of hair hanging on each side of my face.
Jason and I fought the blizzard to have a dinner out at Mangiamo last night. It was very cozy there and a nice way to cap off our week of kid-free dinners at night. Next week, we're forging back into the battle and attempting to "do" the family meal thing again. I am gathering my courage, and my patience. I did get Jemma to eat some homemade chicken noodle soup last week and I snuck some prosciutto into her cheese quesadilla today, so she may not be a vegetarian, after all.
Today, I made it to the gym early this morning and rocked out to some VH1 videos while I cranked out 5 1/2 miles in record time, thanks to Britney, Jay-Z and Beyonce, Alicia Keys, and others. Then I headed to Holland for a poetry reading by one of my former professors, Jack Ridl. It was warm, witty, and not-pretentious-at-all, which were just a few of the things I loved about being in his class my senior year. Definitely makes me want to spend some more time devoted to just writing and to reading other people's good writing. Lunch at Butch's with Connie, Gina, and Andrea, a stop at the Peanut Store, and my indulgent day was complete. Thanks, Jason! I felt like an irresponsible college student again for a few hours!
ps - Blogger is being a pain; won't let me post the pictures! I'll try again later . . .
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