Little Bits O' Humor

-I saw a car covered in bumper stickers in a parking lot today. The most interesting one? "Mother Nature Always Bats Last." Hmmmmmm . . .

-Annie informed me today that her doop is a girl. Because it is pink. And everything pink is a girl, and girls wear pink. I thought this was notable because we have had several, several conversations about how boys and girls can both wear any color they want, etc. So I said, "What about when Daddy wears his pink shirt to work?" (and for the record, he has two. And one purple. Perhaps not coincidentally, these were his two favorite colors for several of his childhood years . . . I digress.)

"Then he's a girl," Annie responded.

"No, Daddy is never a girl," I declared. Maybe a metrosexual, but not a girl. =)

"Well, then he LOOKS like a girl." Ahhh. If his hair gets much longer, he might.

-We've been doing lots of swimming, sprinkler-running, and bathing-suit-wearing lately, and I usually just rinse the suits out and hang them in the shower to dry for a few times before I wash them. This morning, I went to grab Annie's cherry bathing suit and noticed that it stunk. I threw it in the dirty laundry and grabbed a different one for this morning's post-run sprinkler session. Annie must have noticed this (and remember, she's a smeller) because she spent the rest of the day occasionally returning to smell the stinky swimsuit, trying to get everyone else in the family to smell it, and asking me why it was stinky. THEN, after dinner tonight, Jason's parents called and wanted to talk to Annie. She loves to talk on the phone. She got on and immediately said, "Grandma, I have a cherry bathing suit, and it is SO STINKY!" Great.

-I posted a picture a while back of Annie with her new dolly, Ce Ce Bingo. The big draw with her is that she has a pacifier that is attached to her by a string and which can be popped in and out of her o-shaped mouth. Today, Jemma was cuddling CCB and toddled over to me, held CCB up to me, and sort of grunted like she wanted me to do something. I took the paci out. Jemma nodded. I returned to the dishes, and Jemma was bothering me again. "Do you want her paci in?" I asked. Vigorous head nodding. So I put it back in . . . and this happened about 10 more times before I said I was "All Done" with CCB's paci and Jemma had a high-pitched screaming fit on the floor of the kitchen. If Jemma got to choose, her days would apparently be filled with putting CCB's paci in and out of her mouth, blowing bubbles and then dumping the bottle of bubbles on the ground, and being held by Mommy while eating an entire banana in less than 1 minute.

I Have a Theory About That

I have many theories. Some involve sunscreen, some involve how the amount you sweat during a run can make you not have to pee anymore even if you actually had to pee right when you started running . . . we will get into those fascinating theories at another time. Possibly. Today I need to write about a theory that can be observed often in my life right now. It is:

On the days you take time to shower first thing in the morning, blow-dry your hair, and get appropriately ready for the day, you will not run into any people you know. If you do run into people you know, they will not even notice or comment on your appearance. Conversely, on the days when you decide it will not be worth showering, dressing well, or pulling yourself together in any way, you will somehow be humiliated by ending up in a very public place, running into people at the grocery store who actually say, "I didn't even recognize you!" or inadvertently hosting half the neighborhood in your yard or home.

This morning, I set off for Holland with the girls to make batches and batches of strawberry freezer jam with my mom. We do this almost every June and then stock the freezer for the whole year. Although this is very messy and time-consuming, I am now a jam snob and will not eat store-bought strawberry jam. Ick.

I throw the girls in the car, along with their crap for a day away. We're getting on the highway and I'm on the phone with my mom to tell her we're on our way when my oil temperature light comes on. (This, when we just had the oil changed on Monday.) I picture my engine overheating and my car in flames on the side of the road (I have seen this, in Detroit. Of course, in Detroit.) So, I drive straight to the dealership, get out, and beg them for car-fixing mercy, grumpy girls in tow. Here is what I am wearing as I try to charm the head of the Delta Imports service department: J. Crew khaki shorts, circa 1996, that are so short and frayed at the bottom I would never dream of wearing them in public, a hunter-green T-shirt, size XL, that I bought in Vienna - again, in 1996. It says, "Billy's Bones Irish Pub. Everbody Has to Learn to Drink Somewhere." Classy! Not showered. Hair in ponytail. No makeup. Flipflops. No snacks in the diaper bag. No toys.

After nearly 2 hours at the dealership, waiting for them to check out my car, we were on our way to Holland. Did the oil temp light come on for the mechanic when he took my car for a spin? No, it did not. Anyway, thank goodness for the vending machine and the kids' play area at the lovely dealership. The end result: we made jam. We are now home. And I need to shower more, lest my theory rear its ugly head again.

Blogging at Midnight

So, it's 11:42 p.m., and I thought it seemed like a good time to write. Some ridiculous things are happening with the tenants in our South Haven house, things that make me question the decency of people and raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels. I have tried to lull myself to sleep by: watching Food Network, reading, having a large glass of red wine, doing downward dog, breathing deeply, pacing, and, now, writing about all the good things that happened today. We'll see how that works. In the meantime, a lesson: Never, ever rent your house. Just let it sit, empty, draining money straight out of your bank account.

Being agitated and up this late does give me a chance to recount a few of the magical moments of our day today. It was finally SUNNY (!) after what feels like a week of monsoons and tornadoes, so the girls and I hit the farmer's market, where we bought the most luscious, perfect Michigan strawberries - the first pick of the summer. Ate some for dinner; will be buying more to make jam with my mom on Friday. We also spent some fun time at the library (checked out all the Maisy books, which is a new obsession for Annie) and had a little Father's-Day-present-making adventure with Heidi and Jonathan. Then tonight, we hauled the whole family down to see Quadraphonic playing at the lake. Annie flailed with a few friends, Jemma begged for Rose's caramel corn from perfect strangers, and Jason and I enjoyed the music.

But my proudest achievement of the day was the completion of a random art project I become determined to make yesterday. I read about it on another blog I love, Secret Agent Josephine, and, instead of letting her crafty ways make me feel all guilt-ridden about not doing more artsy stuff with my kids, I decided to just do it with Annie. We were supposed to use watercolors, which I couldn't find, but it turned out cute, anyway. Annie loved the painting and the glueing; I loved feeling all Andy Warholish pasting random strips down on notecards. And we've already used two of the cards. One is a thank-you for Annie's new, slightly PLG bike that is sooooo going to get us through the summer until her birthday; one is for Miss Colette, who Annie continues to worship and stalk from afar. (Case in point: I let her throw a penny into the Breton Village fish pond today to make a wish. The wish? "I wish Miss Colette could come to my house and show me baby Maya." Yeah, that's probably not going to happen.)

And here, at 11:57, I really am feeling a tiny bit better. Two nights in a row, up until midnight (saw Sex and the City last night) - who needs sleep, anyway? Bring on the 7:00 a.m. run!

Weekend at Home

It was a hot, humid, stormy weekend, and we had lots of little things going on - birthday parties, graduation open houses, and plans with friends. When it was 90 and sunny, we got out the sprinkler pool (of course) and had a great time watching Annie, Jemma, and Jonathan frolic in it in various stages of undress (there was complete nakedness by the littlest ones at one point). When it was pouring and we lost electricity, we stayed inside, ate Panera sandwiches for dinner, and watched the lightening. And when the storms subsided, we took walks outside, Annie on her new, big-girl bike (a pink Schwinn hand-me-down from one of Jason's co-workers, straight from the 1980's) and Jemma in her rain boots. She loves puddles; when she sees a particularly good one out in the street, she stops, turns around to look for me, holds her hand out to grab mine, and marches off to splash in it. I take this as a hopeful sign that she knows she couldn't otherwise go out in the street. And I love it when I can relax and be the kind of mom who takes time to splash in puddles with my girl, not caring that she's still wearing the little white dress she's had on since church in the morning.

Now that the never-ending Red Wings/Pistons sportswatch saga is finally over, Jason and I have been turning off the TV at night and making time to sit and talk outside, hang out with neighbors after all the kids are in bed, and have summer drinks together (so far: coconut mojitos and raspberry lambic). We're talking about plans for the rest of our summer weekend and realizing, as are other fellow bloggers, that we have lots of weekend plans already, straight through September! And while it's almost all good stuff, we started to freak out a little, too, about the lack of "free" weekends left on our calendar. We might just have to take the ones that are left and make a prohibition on plans for those few precious days. Because, for us, it's so often the unplanned weekends that end up making the most memories.

Recently Overheard at Our Residence

1.

S: "Speaking of boobs, you know what really made me feel better about mine? The cover of that Blind Faith album you had up on the computer yesterday."

J, puzzled: "That's a pre-pubescent girl."


2.

S: "Jason Doublestein, your hair is out of control."

J: "I know. I just drove home from the gym with my head sticking out the window." (Why? Why? Like a dog . . .)

3.

S: "Annie, what do you want for breakfast?"

A: "Mom! It's a surpise and you're NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL ME!!!!"
and then, upon seeing the oatmeal placed in front of her covered face: "Mooooooom. I didn't WANT that. I wanted a waffle . . . wah . . . . wah . . . ."

Annie's World of Make-Believe

Annie has been into imaginative play for a long time, and it's something I really treasure about her. Lately, though, she's taken it to a whole new level. Recent scenarios that Annie has been acting out:

-Being Miss Colette, her previously-pregnant preschool teacher. Two mornings, now, she's emerged from her bedroom with Dinah stuffed up under her shirt. She sees me smiling questioningly in the hallway. "I'm Miss Colette," she whispers authoritatively. She later produces "baby Maya," who must sit at the breakfast table with us. (Yes, still with the "baby in my tummy" fantasy . . . )

-Re-enacting the entire book "Olivia and the Missing Toy." One of us is Olivia, one of us is Perry, the naughty dog who chewed up Olivia's favorite toy. Then we switch. Certain lines must be repeated, verbatim, from the book. This game can go on for 15 - 20 minutes, at least.

-Playing Candy Store. Pretending various items are candy, setting up an elaborate display, shopping for the candy, putting it all in our purse. If Jason is involved, she very often gets a piece of actual candy, which I think is the real attraction. (I am guessing this game began because she took her first trip to the Holland Peanut Store a few weeks ago . . . very dangerous.)

She has lots of other little diversions during the day: putting all her babies down for a nap; having a slumber party with her favorite dolls; "feeding" the ants outside by carefully placing a helicopter-seed-thingie on top of each anthill; changing into each dance outfit and insisting on dancing to the same song over and over ("Land Down Under" by Men at Work, random acoustic version by Colin Hay, which she inexplicably calls "The Merry-Go-Round Song!); blowing bubbles all by herself; watering the flowers; drawing pictures to send to her favorite people . . . lately, she has been almost entirely delightful. Is she getting nearer to that even-keeled four-year-old I keep reading and hearing about? I certainly hope so. In any case, between that and the start of her new-favorite activity, gymnastics, the summer is off to a great start.

Sprinkler Pool, Version 2.0

It's June 1 and a gorgeous day - time to break out this summer's sprinkler pool. Last year, we had one with a blow-up palm tree, an inflated slide, and some fun star-shaped floaties that kids used as frisbees. Sadly, the star/frisbees are all that remain of the Sprinkler Pool, Version 1.0. At the end of last summer, we decided it was so mangled and non-sprinkley as to merit the garbage can. That sprinkler pool was sooooooooo worth the $19.99 investment, and we were sad to see it go.

Today, we unveiled Sprinkler Pool, Version 2.0. It cost $14.99 at Target and is shaped like a giant frog. There is a spot near the frog's head where, when you've hooked it up to your hose, water squirts out and fills the rest of the pool. Jason started blowing it up during the girls' nap time. The minute he finished, there were 5 neighbor kids standing at the edge of our lawn, wearing bathing suits and toting beach towels. That's just what happens with the sprinkler pool; as Shannon says, "If you blow it up, they will come" a la Field of Dreams.

Annie hopped in, pondered the experience, and announced, "Daddy, I want it to be a heated pool." So Jason promptly hooked it up to our downstairs laundry sink via a very long hose, and the kids were warm enough to play for almost an hour while we parents lounged around and talked. Again, I predict that, after 20 - 30 afternoons this summer, the $14.99 investment is going to pay off pretty well for us all. Here's hoping 2.0 makes it to the end of the summer!